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For all the taxes they take out of my paycheck they should at least send me a picture of the broke ass family I support to hang on my fridge.
I am sick of people thinking deodorant is optional.
Finger Prints on Super Bowl Trophy to be used in dozens of criminal investigations
OMG ... I hate waiting in lines ... I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect already.
I get worried when someone posts a kitten pic with a foreign language, I don`t know if they`re showing a cute kitty pet or their dinner.
I hate it when you can’t find your phone because you left it someplace stupid like in the car or your non-dominant hand.
A cheap way to get Botox face is by walking your dog in zero degree temperature.
No great story started with someone drinking water.
I`ve got my wise-ass in my smartypants so I`m ready for anything!
Stand for what you believe in. Or sit on the couch and have a couple of donuts. It`s a free country really.
Unless you fell on the treadmill, nobody wants to hear about your workout.
If you get angry, just relax, take a deep breath and count to ten, unless you`re angry about oxygen and numbers.
I accidentally did yoga once when I couldn`t reach the toilet paper.
Listen lady, if you stopped screaming maybe you would enjoy holding hands with me.
Every Girls Night Out has at least one crier.