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Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is an idiot.
Anyone who says "Let`s all put our phones down and talk with each other," is just running out of battery and needs a charge.
People hate the truth. Luckily, the Truth doesn`t give a $#!t.
No one’s going to do it for you. It’s up to just you to make naps a priority in your life.
There is a special place in hell for people who are not ready to order when it`s their turn.
Valentines day
Blessed are they who can just read it and move on.
loves driving down the road and just waving at random people like you know them!:D
I hate it when my cat leaves a dead Smart Car on my doorstep.
The difference between cheating on your wife and cheating on your taxes is if you tell the truth, the IRS still wants to f*ck you.
Single ladies, stop saying you should just give up & get a cat , if no man wants you , don`t force an innocent cat to live with you..
Saw a boat with a sign that read "For Sale" so I added the missing "-ing"......Idiots can`t spell...
There’s a reason why “sober” and “so bored” sound almost exactly the same.
I`ve found a new coping mechanism....................COOKIES!
Something tells me that girl with the word "Princess" tattooed on her neck isn`t really Royalty.