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They call cat people crazy but they`re not the ones outside at 5AM putting fresh dog poop into little baggies.
...and this right here son is called pornography, and it`s why they invented the internet.
Somewhere, a smart Lasik surgeon has an office full of brochures that are all slightly out of focus.
I don`t have the blood alcohol level to deal with you
Guys are at their mathematical best when a girl says she is pregnant.
Was born with a rare condition called "Amazing"
I don`t know about you . But everytime I go on Twitter , I get this weird feeling , I am being followed.
Sorry, I can’t today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandfather’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and yes, it was tragic.
How are poor people so good at finding money for tattoos?
No toilet paper.. goodbye socks
Spent morning at the farmers market carefully selecting fruits and vegetables to throw away next Saturday.
Can anybody PLEASE tell me where you buy Common Sense?? I know several people that need some!!!
It`s so strange to think that before Facebook all of this nonsense just stayed in people`s heads
Looks like you have a lot on your mind. Do you wanna drink about it?
It would be funny if the husband is actually sleeping with the Jake from state Farm.