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Is it just me or when you turn off the computer by holding down the power button, it feels like I’m choking it to death.
I feel bad for lions at zoos. How would you feel if a bunch of pizzas came to your house, took your picture, and you couldn`t even eat them.
I can`t tell them apart, was that Milli or Vanilli doing the sign language at Madela`s funeral?
Thought I saw a kangeroo today turned out to be a greyhound taking a dump !
Apparently this Walmart cashier only brushes her favorite teeth.
I do not like being told what to do unless I`m naked.
What do you mean I didn’t win, I ate more wet t-shirts than anyone else.
So the other day a girl asked me to Facebook her, needless to say she wasn`t to happy after I hit her in the face with a book
I grew up living paycheck to paycheck. But through hard work and perseverance, I now live direct deposit to direct deposit.
May all of us be as good looking/ beautiful as we look on our FB profile pic..
I was admiring my six pack in the mirror for two hours,then it got cold and I put it in the fridge
The mailman just delivered an 8-track of Boz Skaggs Greatest Hits. I guess this fulfills my Columbia House obligation.
I have heard of women that aren`t crazy, but I`ve also heard of Unicorns.
My 5 year old set up the lemonade stand all by himself and, while I`m proud of him, I doubt he`ll make a lot of sales in the backyard.
You haven`t truly tested your patience yet until you get stuck behind an undecided person at a Redbox kiosk.