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I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes...
that song on your iPod that you always skip but never delete.
My friend on Facebook "Can`t believe its Monday again already"... if only there were some way for her to calculate the order in which days occur.
Your selfie would be way better if you weren`t in it.
Who invented the brush they put next to the toilet? That thing hurts!
I wonder if people that live in Hawaii have screensavers of bumper to bumper traffic?
Oh cool! ... I really do not care.
Why aren`t they called A$$teroids instead of hemorrhoids???
When everything else fails... you always have delusion.
If you can´t read this, you´re illiterate.
Some of us learn from the mistakes of others. The rest of us have to be the others.
You’ll never get the same results running in place as you will running from a lion.
A friend like you is worth a million dollars. So, if you don’t mind…can I sell you? :D
You`re not unlucky. Bad things happen to you because you`re a dumba$$.
I have two words for this week. BEER ME!!!