Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Turkish ruler Erdogan was at the White House this week. Sources say he arrived very early so he could beat the crowd.
A box 5 lb. box of chocolates: $40, Valentines Day card: $3.75, not being yelled at for 35 minutes until the chocolate is gone: priceless!
When people tell me "You`re gonna regret that in the morning"...I sleep in till noon, because I`m a problem solver.
"No! Don`t go into the church! Nooo!" ... "Honey, what movie are you watching?" ... "Our wedding video."
I wonder who the first person was to look at a beehive and think, "those bastards are hiding something delicious in there, I know it!"
People saying "Laugh my a$$ off" and still having an a$$ next time I see them is the reason I have trust issues.
I dont know about you guys, but I am amazed Pringles is able to constantly grow the same shaped potato. Science.
I liked you a lot more before I met you.
i dont like ling distance relationships so i move the fridge to my room
My plan for today? Same as always: Drink coffee and be sexy.
4 out of 5 dead husbands agree that last casserole tasted really strange.
I’m pretty sure the whole “ladies first” thing was created by a guy that just wanted to check out a girl’s butt.
I like to Party! ... and by Party I mean take Naps
I like to think the automatic soap dispenser is just really happy to see me.
Back in my day we had 9 planets.