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Every woman is beautiful in her own unique way. Sometimes it just takes the right amount of alcohol to see it.
It makes me sad that so many women feel like they have to wear makeup and clothes.
If I share my food with you, its either because I love you a lot, or because it fell on the floor and I don`t want it.
Pro tip: when you`re watching a show like "my five wives" with your wife, don`t suggest potential additional wives.
If electricity comes from electrons… does that mean that morality comes from morons?
I bought my Ex a chair ... But the state won`t let me plug it in.
This fly in my car is going to be very disappointed when it ends up at Walmart.
Donuts: An excuse to eat cake for breakfast.
More people should be at a loss for words.
As My Wife walked by, she said, "NICE PORN STASH!" which got me all excited and I preceded to show her where I hide the really raunch stuff. She then clarified that she was talking about the ugly hair I`ve been trying to grow above my lip, and now, I have neither... :)
It`s funny how things change when you get older. It seems like just yesterday I would spend my evenings on the front porch and treat myself to some killer weed. Now I spend my
You actually are not the stupidest person on the planet. But if he were to die...
Got kicked out of the casino again. Apparently, gold chocolate coins mess up their slot machines or something.
I`ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.!!
Does anybody know how to disable the autocorrect feature on my wife ?