Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Seems like everyone is either trying to pretend they have the life they want, or escape the life they have.
Why don’t we just take the safety labels off of everything and let this stupidity problem solve itself?
“Are you working right now? Where are you working?” Facebook is worse than my parents.
I thought I was having déjà vu, but it turns out I do the exact same things every day.
I want to start a womans magazine called "Period". ..then every few months I`ll send it out late JUST to freak them out. ;)
The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven`t seen for half an hour.
It would serve me better if they put shopping carts in the middle of the store where my pride realizes I have too much stuff to carry.
to do list: buy a parrot. teach the parrot to say, "Help!! I`ve been turned into a parrot!"
I’m not stupid. I’m just too lazy to show how smart I am.
Did you ever stop to think that maybe vodka is addicted to ME?
My door bell is a recording of a shotgun being racked.
Easy come, easy go describes my last 12 cases of beer and 17 relationships.
If you`re going to give me dirty looks for being at the liquor store at 10am, don`t be open.
Why does no one ever talk about where a bear pees?
If it`s the thought that counts ... Then I should probably be in jail