Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Happy people don`t take long showers.
Somedays I could do without the life lesson
Every-time I run I hear Mario Brothers theme song in my head, and look for things to jump over.
Imagine, for a moment, what you could accomplish if you had the persistence and drive of the Adobe Acrobat Reader updater.
I am the undefeated champion of this”smooshing-down-the-garbage-so-I-don’t-have-to-take-it-out-for-another-day” game.
I guess “Trying to be” isn’t really the answer the doctor was looking for when he asked if I was sexually active.
Helpful Tip: Dont laugh when the cop says penal system ... oh and I need bail money again.
If "The Breakfast Club" was made today, it would be a silent film about five kids staring at their phone
Sometime when I`m home alone I like to fill my bathtub with spaghetti and pretend I`m a meatball.!
Pringles should make their containers like a Push Up Pop.
ready for bed - gunna give my sheets some arse and my pillows head;]
When life throws you curveballs, swing at those motherf*ckers like Stevie Wonder with a lightsaber.
Christmas is truly a magical time. It`s made all my money disappear!
Admit it, we all have that special someone we`d visit if given a tank to drive for a day
Guess it`s time to get to the part of the day I hate... the part which requires pants.