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I got all my Christmas shopping done. Hope everyone likes bunny ears, ornamental grass, and discounted peeps.
The most common crossfit injury is a black eye from talking about it too much.
If it were easy then everyone would act like me.
But in my most troublesome times, I looked down and saw only one set of footprints. I asked the Lord why, and He replied that sand people ride single file to hide their numbers.
Wouldn`t it be great to revive the old "Mutual Of Omaha`s Wild Kingdom" show, but with a new setting? Like a WalMart Store in Kentucky?
I spend 60%of my day worrying that I might have mustard on my face or clothing. The other 40% I am eating mustard.
Choosing A Career Is Like Chosing A Wife From 10 Girls. Even If You Pick The Most Beautiful, Intelligent, Kindest Woman, There`s Still Pain Of Losing The Other 9
My dream job is a pharmacy cashier & yelling for a price check every time someone checks out anal ointment, condoms, & men buying maxi pads.
No one`s going to do it for you. It`s up to you, to make naps a priority in your life.
I really like ceilings,.. I guess you could call me a ceiling fan.
"Thank God!!! They are finally taking these damn rubber bands off." -The last thing a lobster thinks.
People always say that alcohol kills... but if you think about it .... it causes many births too.
I`m so lonely I drive around town with a coffee cup glued to the roof of my car just so people will wave at me.
I like to read magazines about parenting. That way, I can learn all the things my parents did wrong and I can go back to them and say "See? This is the reason I am like I am."
I don´t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.