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Pretending to tolerate other people is exhausting.
I`m a Leader not a follower. Unless it`s a dark place...then you`re going first!
I can`t stand people who blame everyone else for their problems....I`d be successful and happy by now if it wasn`t for them!!!!
I always tell myself there is no such thing as a stupid question, but everyday someone tries to change my mind
Good things come to those who wait. Better things come if you stop f*cking around and make sh!t happen.
I`d imagine the only thing worse then getting your period is not getting your period.
For just 3 cents a day, all of my followers can help me quit my job...
I just want you to be happy…and maybe a little bit naked.
I`m out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?
You don`t even want to know the things I have done for a Klondike Bar...
Apparently telling the airline stewardess that airplane food is "da bomb dat hijacked my tastebuds" is not considered a compliment......
has a drinking problem...I can`t afford it
Anything is legal when there`s no police around
Today has been approved by both my middle fingers.
I`ve finally stopped drinking for good ... And I`ve started drinking for evil.