Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I wanna see Mythbusters do the bible.
Okay, calm down. Its a spider. Just one tiny litt- HOLY MOLY IT MOVED!
Waiter: Would u like ur coffee black sir? Me: What other colors do u have?
I prefer to be crazy and happy rather than normal and bitter......
Yeah, you go ahead and climb that mountain "because it`s there", I am going to eat this Pizza "because it`s here"................................
Nothing good has ever come from answering a call from a blocked phone number.
I didn`t want to grow up; I just wanted to be able to reach for the cookies.
I will be buried in a spring loaded casket filled with confetti! I just want a future archaeologist to have a great day!
Kids today are so coddled- Elf on the Shelf, Toy Story. In my day, if dolls magically came to life, they murdered you and everyone you loved
Yea...sure! I was hoping someone would come and stand uncomfortably close to me today
Life is like a bowl of soup; you only get blown if you`re hot.
I just devoured a six inch from Subway and I`m still not satisfied. I get it ladies. I get it.
It`s a good thing the gas station is open today...... I still have time to do my Christmas shopping.
Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off your life.... Based on the math, I should have died in 1732.
A 4-way stop is an IQ test you take in public.