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Why I don’t like people: 1% logical reasons. 99% just because.
“Nevermind.” Translation: You should’ve listened the first time.
Checked myself for ticks ... but I didn`t hear anything.
Nothing says “I hate you” like giving someone’s child a drum set.
To all my Facebook friends. Have a happy St. Patrick`s day, and all the festivities this weekend. Stay safe, enjoy life, and if you by chance happen to find a bartender who is bad at math...give me a call :)
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
This week is the 40th anniversary of the Rubik`s Cube. If you kids don`t know what a Rubik`s Cube is, it`s what people would stare at without human interaction before cellphones. Mel
Forget resolutions, Imma just say from now on... TGIS "Thank God I Survived" ! :)
I`m not crazy, but I am a carrier.
If I had a nickel for everytime I said, "If I had a nickel", I`d be rich.
I`m great at making pancakes and women uncomfortable.
Fat, single and ready for a Pringle.
Like if you really googled to see if that kid really died from masturbating
I don’t necessarily believe in karma, but I’m gonna be extra careful crossing the street after this weekend.
Let’s be the generation that stops putting things in our butts and having to go to the emergency room to get them taken out, shall we?