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Maybe cologne should come with a two sprays a day lock on it.
Just used the "f word" over on FB so I`m waiting for the villagers with their torches, axes, whatever those people use.
Crazy? ... My therapist does say I should quit talking to myself.
It’s like nobody ever considers the consequences of getting to know me.
My level of sarcasm is to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.
I`m sorry if I looked interested. You probably caught me fantasizing about bacon.
I sent that "Ancestry " site some information on my family tree. They sent me back a packet of seeds and suggested that I just start over
Sometimes, when people are talking to me, I daydream about what they would do if I suddenly punched them in the face.
10 years ago Facebook came in to our lives forever changing our ability to judge each other from our couches.
Saw a bird sh*t on my car, so I ate scrambled eggs on my front step, just to show him what I`m capable of.
You are not stupid, I just think you have bad luck when thinking.
Thank you, true crime show, for saying that was a reenactment. I was pretty upset your camera person didn`t stop that murder.
Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
The only correct answer to the question are you sleeping is no.
I`m so out of shape, Internet Explorer could probably run faster than me.