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If doing things was as easy as thinking about doing things Iād get a lot more done.
A broken clock is right twice a day. I guess what I am saying is, that a broken clock is right more than you.
Sometimes I wanna comment on a photo on Facebook but then I don`t wanna have to explain why I`m in your `Random Party Pics 08` album at 4am.
I like to log into facebook and leave a status just to show I`m here. Or am I?
Mosquito landed on my friend`s face; easiest decision of my life.
Maybe Mondays are not that bad. Maybe its your job that sucks balls.
Three guys walk into a bar. Two ended up with a concussion, the other needed 4 stitches.
My 12 step program means parking closer to the bar.
I don`t understand fat poor people. What are you eating? Broken hopes and dreams?
A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well as afterward.
I burned my mouth on my pizza and I feel this is a strong metaphor showing me that the ones we love can hurt us the most.
New rule: advertisements can no longer use adjectives. I`ll decide what is "fresh" and "natural" and "like a real girl" thank you very much.
I really like this new reality show "Neighbor Without Drapes"
I should probably do some housework before they try to film the next Febreeze commercial here.
Nothing tells your friends you`ve made it in life quite like owning a 4 slice toaster.