Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Music that is meant to be played at a reasonable volume is completely pointless.
Some people should be ticketed for wearing spandex
Pro tip for picking up girls – keep your back straight and lift with your knees.
Literally saw someone get a tattoo of a camel on their toe.
Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake a whole relationship.
Just had a fight with my alarm clock. It wanted me to wake up, I disagreed. Things got violent. Now the alarm clock is broken and I`m wide awake. Not sure who won.
Don`t ya wish you could hold people up to the light like a $20 bill to tell if they`re fake or real?
I wonder if Earth makes fun of the Moon for having no life.
The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content.
The guys at Home Depot must take classes to know exactly what I meant by "the little thing next to that one piece with the round thing."
Pretty much the most frightening part of my day is when I get a notification that my mother has tagged me in a post on Facebook.
The ultimate home security system is just having crappy stuff.
What`s this g-mail? I just got used to e-mail. And why did they skip f-mail?
Don`t sweat the petty things and don`t pet the sweaty things.
Thanks to the words “dude”, “bro”, and “man”, I haven’t said my best friends name in 10 years.