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*wants to travel the world but has like 3 dollars*
Turkish ruler Erdogan was at the White House this week. Sources say he arrived very early so he could beat the crowd.
If you ever Google "Grandfather Clock", be careful how you spell that sh!t.
happy 3rd birthday to the tartar sauce in my fridge
I am sick of people thinking deodorant is optional.
My arm fell asleep, which is understandable, considering how boring the rest of my body has been.
I have 500 friends and only 499 Birthday wishes on facebook! I`ll remember that when it`s YOUR birthday #405!!!
Would stiff nipples be a good name for my air conditioning company?
Just because someone`s richer or more famous or talented doesn`t mean they`re happy. It just means they`re happier than YOU.
what is the first thing a homeless person does when he`s on a computer? he searches through the recycle bin
I`m not afraid of identity theft. Go ahead and enjoy being broke and having my dad call you a failure.
I just saw a guy take a bite of Kit Kat bar without breaking it apart first! Sir, we live in a society with rules, please adhere to them.
Now that I think about it... Facebook became popular ever since I made an account.
There`s a time and a place for non-alcoholic beer. Never, and down the drain.
I`d be much more attracted to you if you were much more attractive.