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What if Egyptians actually had a written language, then started using emojis, and that’s all that’s left?
3 shots of vodka can erase 8 hours of rage in 15 minutes. That’s all the math you really need to know.
What if the lightbulb had never been invented? How would we know when someone has a really good idea?
I`m dreaming of a white Christmas. But if the white runs out I`ll pop open the red and drink that.
I will not let people drive me crazy because I know it`s in walking distance.
People saying "Laugh my a$$ off" and still having an a$$ next time I see them is the reason I have trust issues.
I just wanted to say thank you to all the people that have given me a reason to drink this Friday night.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
99% of people are stupid. Luckily, I`m part of the other 3%.
POLITICS; from `poly` meaning `many and `Tics` meaning blood-sucking creatures. Just sayin`
I like to follow random families around Disneyland for a day and just be in the background of all their photos.
Don`t, under any circumstance, believe I`ll return your Tupperware.
Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
I`m convinced girls only want one thing from guys... all of our hoodies. -Bfanch
What doesn`t kill you, will hopefully try again