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Was the little pig who decided to built his house out of straw some sort of f***ing idiot?
"10 Totally Epic Reasons Why You`re Going Straight to Hell" - 2013 version of Ten Commandments
I was drivin home tonight and was singin away and seen a tree ahead and swerved to miss it and realized it was my air freshener hangin from my rear view mirror!!!! CLOSE CALL!!!
If you like to listen to music while having sex, listen to a live album. That way you will get an applause every 3-4 minutes.
If you really think about it, "Nightlife" is just a fancy word for drinking alcohol at a place that isn`t your house.
Happy St. Patrick`s Day to the fool that gave up alcohol for Lent.
When someone says I love you over the phone and you don`t feel the same, just say `I love youtube` but say it really fast!
I`m not homophobic, I love my house!
Chase you? ... B!tch please, I don`t even chase my liquor.
he who laughs last thinks slow
Talk to me long enough and you`ll realize why I`m single.
Thinking about waking up early for a run. Mostly thinking about how I will not be doing that.
what I hate about technology is that even my book ran out of batteries
Whoever decided to color underpants white was an idiot.
I`m thinking about remodeling my bathroom and thanks to all your selfies I`m getting some great ideas!!.....