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Everyone has their area of expert knowledge.... if any of you need tips on how to do absolutely nothing amazingly well, let me know.
I don`t understand no one has excepted my boiling water challenge
some people just need a hug...around the neck...with a rope!!
I can’t wait to be ashamed of what I do this weekend.
The worst part of being naked is not having pockets.
If you think your wife has a great sense of humor, try leaving a trail of rose petals leading to a sink full of dirty dishes. Not the best idea a man ever had ;)
I do 5 sit-ups every morning. No, it doesn`t sound like much, but there`s only so many times you can press the snooze button.
finally joined craigs list. who wants to see my junk?
just watched my first full episode of jersey shore... #ashamed of new entertainment
LSD makes users lose weight` That makes sense, it`s kinda hard to get to the fridge when there`s a dragon guarding it.
My friends made fun of me for buying this flamethrower, but at least I don`t have to shovel snow this weekend.
They should open a bar and call it "The Gym" so I can be like those annoying people on Facebook who brag about going to the gym every day.
My walk of shame is putting back the 9 boxes of assorted cereals that my wife found in the grocery cart.
I hate when someone asks me where I see myself 5 years from now when I don`t even remember where the hell I was 2 days ago.
Keep your friends close and your unattractive enemies closer so you look better by comparison in pictures.