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You guys make Facebook worth it! Just kidding, we are all wasting our lives.
People say circumcision dosen`t hurt. I was circumcised when I was born and I couldn`t walk for nearly a year.
I`ve had frozen pizza and delivery pizza in the same day, b!tch you don`t know me.
If by crunches you mean Captain Crunch cereal, then yes I do crunches.
is actually feeling pretty much okay about not accomplishing anything this year.
You have advice? For me? I have a $5 Starbucks gift card that`s older than you.
Relationships would be easier if people came with a “Clear History” button.
Some people should calm down, take a deep breath and then hold it for 20 minutes.
Half of me is a hopeless romantic. And the other half of me is, well, an asshole.
Just looked at the price of baby strollers. I think were gonna have an indoor baby.
Actually told a girl who`s moving to France soon that "there`s lots of French people over there". It`s a wonder how I can even bathe myself.
People that do stuff- what’s your secret?
I drive safer when there`s food on my passenger seat than when there`s a person sitting there.
If your friends don’t make fun of you, they’re not your true friends.
Sorry I shouted "MORTAL KOMBAT!" when you started arguing with your husband at the grocery store