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I wouldn`t say I`m an alcoholic. I`d slur it.
Sometimes I get road rage standing in lines.
when girls say bye .......... may be it means buy something for her.....
what if the princess wants to be with bowser, but mario keeps kidnapping her
When you upload photos to Fb, i`d appreciate it if you tagged your hot friends ... It makes stalking them MUCH easier, thank you!
Personality is 40% genetics, 40% upbringing, and 20% the last movie you watched.
All you single ladies, please stop saying you should just give up and get a cat. If no man wants you, don`t subject an innocent cat to a life with you.
So long pants! See you Monday!
Why can`t someone look at me the same way I look at pizza?
There`s no room in my life for B.S. ... Unless it`s burritos oand salsa
Sorry I ordered a salad and then ate all your fries.
Sometimes, I think I`m a genius. Then I realize I`ve already seen this episode of Jeopardy.
It`s amazing what you can accomplish when you do stuff.
I suppose cougar is a better term than old whore.
Throw a stranger a surprise party by putting confetti inside their closed umbrella when they’re not looking!