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I read that a banana a day will help keep your colon clean. I just wish they wouldβve mentioned that youβre supposed to eat them.....
Relationships are like batteries, they have a positive & a negative side. And you end up whacking your remote instead of changing them.
My grocery list is just a piece of paper saying ~ don`t run into anyone you know.
Sorry I wasnβt ignoring you I was just watching 7 seasons and 54 episodes of this new show I found.
If I didn`t procrastinate, I probably wouldn`t do anything at all.
I`ve never been skydiving, but I`ve zoomed in on Google Earth really, really fast.
Facebook prank #23 Go in everynight and change your birthday to the next day...then see how long it takes for people to catch on....
Why would I pay someone to scare me at a haunted house when I could just open a can of biscuits at home?
Itβs never too late for a coffee. After all itβs always morning somewhere in the world.
After all these years I finally figured out that that last little piece of soap is more trouble than it`s worth.
Remember before we met? I miss those days.
There are two types of people in this world: those who know how to handle stress, and those who need bail money.
If your wife says "what would you do without me?" "Live happily ever after" is NOT the correct answer.
Calories? I think you mean delicious points!
Years of education, solving tough problems, handling complex issues, yet we take a while standing before glass doors thinking whether to Push or Pull.