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Coffee – because most people frown on alcohol first thing in the morning.
I don`t go to bars anymore, but I miss some things about it. So sometimes I wait outside my bathroom for 15 minutes when I`m dying to pee.
All I`m saying is if guys were meant to make them, they`d be call sandWIZARDS.
The universe contains protons,neutrons,electrons and morons.
If you think you’ve hit rock bottom, the only thing that can cheer you up is bringing somebody else down with you.
When riding in an elevator, be sure to push all the buttons. Your fellow riders will appreciate the fact that you thought of everyone.
While most people are becoming older and wiser, I´m becoming older and better at making stuff up as I go along.
The Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.
Attractive Woman: What time is it? Me: Haha. Yeah definitely
You may think it`s bad grammar but I assure you it`s just laziness.
I`ve said it before and I`ll say it again: it before
Asking me if I’m hungry, is like asking me if I like money.
I never thought I`d be the kind of person who`d wake up early in the morning to exercise ... And I was right.
Whenever you`re feeling down and in the dumps, just remember...the rest of us have been feeling that way about you too!
I may be evil, crazy, insane and f*cking naughty but I do have some good traits, I just don`t dwell on them.