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Funny how things change with time, I used to hate spankings.. ;)
My tombstone will read I should have googled it first.
If you have to ask if it`s too early to drink wine...You`re an amateur and we can`t be friends.
For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.
Is it just me or doesn`t anyone disappear in the Bermuda triangle anymore?
Well, THAT Jehovah`s Witness isn`t going to forget anytime soon what they witnessed when I answered the door.
My life is a result of "it seemed like a good idea at the time."
Currently helping my son look for his chocolate that I ate last night.
If you respond to coworkers asking how your weekend was with turkey noises, they leave you alone.
Roses are Red Violets are Blue, If I had a brick, I`d throw it at you.
Still waiting for a criminal on Law and Order to say,,, "Hey,, Aren`t you Ice-T?"
My illusion of having the Force is crushed the minute the remote is slightly out of reach.
I always wanted to buy a Parrot and teach it to say, "Help, they`ve turned me into a parrot!"
Apparently, driving past police cars while drinking water from an old vodka bottle isn`t `funny` and is technically `wasting` police time