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I’m not the type of person you want to put on speaker during a phone conversation.
I am so confused. My boss just said "keep up the good work" and I have no recollection of doing any such work.
I have been left unsupervised yet again. This usually leads to trouble & other bad things, please have bail money ready and keep your phone on.
" I don`t watch much tv" proudly says a person who spend 8 hours a day on the internet.
The iPad Air is named after what`s left in your bank account when you buy one.
Ladies, how do I work my man boobs and get out of a ticket? Quick, she`s coming.
A mistress is something between a Mister and a mattress.
I got a free wallet and watch today. It`s like this gun is magic.
Some of us live thousands of miles away from the majority of our relatives and can`t be with them for the holidays. But don`t be jealous.
The one thing women don`t want to find in their stockings on christmas morning is their husband
How can I be expected to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count?
My Facebook weather forecast looks like I can expect 2 or 3 inches of drama tonight followed by a lot of bullsh!t blowing in from all directions in the morning.
It`d be nice if the married people would leave some of the single people for the rest of the single people.
What I lack in vocabulary, I make up for in…you know...stuff...and...things...
If people who shop at Walmart, “Save Money. Live Better.” Exactly how bad were these people living BEFORE Walmart?