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It`s not everyday you find a $50 bill in your pocket, I didn`t, but like I said it`s not everyday..
Yes, your opinion matters ... But not to me.
It`s true alcohol kills people, but how many are born because of it?
I accidentally spilled spot remover on my dog and now he’s gone.
can´t seem to find love. but its okay. I know exactly where the beer is.
I hate when its dark and my brain is like “Hey you know what we haven’t thought of in a while?” Monsters.
Happy third birthday to the tartar sauce in my fridge.
I’m drinking like there’s snow tomorrow.
Stalking is such a strong word. I perfer the term surveillance expert.
is it just me, or did anyone else think that we would be living like the Jetson´s by 2011?
All I`m saying is, you`ve never seen me crying and eating tacos at the same time
"People should just mind their own business," probably the funniest thing I`ve ever read on a social networking site.
Thank God I finally found love! Its on Page 126 in the dictionary.
Today I think I`ll send out texts saying "Hey, I got a new phone and lost your number. Can I have it again?" ...JUST to see how many responses I will get. ;)
I only party on 2 occasions. 1. When it’s my birthday 2. When it’s not…