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Chicken salad with egg in it is my fave way to eat two generations.
You must have been born on a highway. Most accidents take place there.
How long do I have to sleep before I`m legally a bear?
Simply amazing how one word spoils the whole sentence: I’m getting laid.....off.
Four out of five voices in my head are saying this is gonna´ be a great day.
I`m not the type of person you want to put on speakerphone.
I have an alcohol problem, in that I can`t afford any.
You can`t Febreze bullshit.
Why do people post pictures of missing people on facebook?...like we are going outside.
Thoughts of you make my demons nervous.
Dear ladies, Not trying to impress you or anything, but I make my own sandwiches.
I`m so proud of myself, I spent all night putting my Christmas decorations up myself.. I`m now at the hospital having them removed
Remember when people had diaries & got mad when someone read them? Now they put everything online and get mad when people don`t
How long are Winnie the Pooh and Tigger going to ignore the fact there`s something seriously wrong with Eeyore
If it`s alcoholic anonymous. Why do the members stand up an in-troduce them selves?