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Insomnia is very common. Try not to lose any sleep over it.
Do I have to wake up? I just woke up yesterday.
On the bright side, I`m relieved we live in a society where we acknowledge that the people who make sandwiches are artists.
My parents would hide fruit roll ups on top of the refrigerator, where I couldn`t reach them. Then leave chemicals right under the sink.
Sorry I said "You`ll Do" instead of "I Do" at our wedding.
When life gets you down, just remember: It’s never too early or too late for a nap.
I love salad! Just wish it had the taste and texture of pizza.
If I`m not back in ten minutes ... then just wait longer.
My pet unicorn told me that I was being delusional again. :/
"2, 4, 6, 8!! Ride my face let`s fornicate!!!" And with that, HR banished me from all future employee picnics.
When people tell me knock knock jokes, I pretend I`m not home.
wants to jump in a cab and yell "follow that car!"
Kids today will never appreciate how difficult it used to be finding pictures of naked people.
I used to question how much information was too much information. Joined Facebook, It`s much clearer now
If you come up to my bedroom door and find a sock on the knob it means I`m having sex ... Probably with the other sock.