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Anyone who believes that children are our future has not been to a mall recently.
Let`s run away together.. Lol jk, I don`t run anywhere.
Remember kids, the Toys R Us bankruptcy and liquidation teaches us that poor spelling and grammar will always catch up with you eventually.
I was just chatting with my cat about how being lonely can make a person crazy.
The only thing that makes me happy about the launch of a new model cell phone is that I can finally afford the previous model.
I have an inferiority complex about my superiority complex. I know I`m better than you, but I feel really bad about it.
Always believe a woman when she says: “You don`t want to know!”
I`m at my neighbor`s house having the most delicious dinner. Hope I finish before they get home!
My girlfriend is now mad at me because I didn’t know why she was mad at me.
Liam Neeson trained Batman, Obi Wan, and Darth Vader. He is both Aslan and Zeus…and he punches wolves. Why would you kidnap his family?
Some people are too chipper early in the morning. They don`t realize how bad it is for their health.....until I`m choking them
Screw you, little sticker on fruit!
I`d totally order a salad bar. If it had lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, ketchup, mustard, hamburger and buns.
I start every morning with a simple affirmation: I will not murder anyone today.
is ready to have one too many!