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Always have a goal. Example: Turn as much alcohol into urine as you can.
They updated the Raggedy Ann doll to Swaggedy Ann. She comes with an iPhone, divorced parents, and 3 pairs of heelys.
Listening to your wife is like reading the terms and conditions of a website. Sometimes you understand nothing, and still you say..."I Agree".....!
Amazon’s recommendations are like that friend who heard you say “ninja” once and then got you ninja stuff for your birthday every year for twenty years
Hump Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The term "bath toys" has a whole new meaning when you`re an adult
After months of uninterrupted analysis, I am now prepared to conclude that, indeed, my laundry is not going to fold itself.
Instead of a selfie, you should take a someone elsie.
I’m not a vegetarian but I eat animals who are.
You can tell a man`s age by how close their socks are to their knees.
Where did all the people walking around with boomboxes in the 80s go? I`m concerned
It`s damn funny when a wife think`s she`s punishing her husband by not talking to him for days..
If I was a Chinese millionaire I would change my name to Cha Ching.
No thanks, NASCAR. If I wanted to spend 8 hrs watching a car drive around in a big circle, I`d go on a road trip with my mom.
For an "adult" bookstore, this place has a LOT of picture books