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How easily you’re offended is directly proportional to how dumb you are.
I`m not sure where you learned to whisper but I`m guessing inside a helicopter surrounded by f*cking chainsaws.
Laughter is the best medicine. Unless you have diarrhea!
Welcome back to plastic surgery anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces here today.
Saw a guy with flames tattooed all over his face. I hope someday he finds a girl who has marshmallows tattooed all over hers.
Just give me coffee and no one gets hurt.
Alcohol goes in ... Happiness comes out.
Give a man a gun he can rob a bank. Give a man a bank and he can rob everybody
Pouring a bucket of white marbles into the hippo pen will result in a lifetime ban from the zoo no matter how hungry they look.
I have tons of friends! Well i only have one... but she ways a ton!
I plan on leaving all my money to the campaign against illiteracy. ...They can`t read this right? lol
I didn’t say “what?” because I can’t hear you. I was giving you a chance to change what you said.
I just witnessed a co worker eat a cupcake with no frosting ... What kind of devil worshiping nonsense is this?
My girlfriend wanted me to come shopping, but I had a headache... I must have caught it from her last night when we didn`t have sex.
Scientists are saying that social media is making us less accepting and more aggressive. Whatever, a$$holes!