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If Miley doesn`t get her sh!t together, all these Hannah Montana collectibles are never gonna get my kids through college.
It`s true alcohol kills people, but how many are born because of it?
Teenage girls hang out in odd numbered groups because they literally can`t even.
I swear I heard my dentist whisper "yolo" as he reached for a chisel...
According to Facebook, some people I don`t remember are grilling this weekend.
I`m lucky to be broke at a time when minimalism and sustainability are in style.
Still hoping that one day I get to ride a kayak while it’s strapped to the top of someone’s car.
The weekend is just a bittersweet memory.... I won`t cry because it`s over, I`ll smile because for a few miles they believed I was the real bus driver.
You ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times you’ve had?
My bed is way more comfortable in the mornings than during the night.
Just convinced my Mom she won`t get Wolf of Wall Street if she doesn`t see Teen Wolf first.
If she owns more than 4 pairs of yoga pants, expect A LOT of text messages
I will resolve to spend less time on Facebook..............ok, got that one out of the way.....................
What do 95% of men do after an orgasm? Delete their browser history.
I just found a $100 bill laying on the floor in the checkout lane. I don`t even have to try to find out who lost it, because it`s the same color, and has the same picture on it as the one I lost 2 years ago!! WooHoo, talk about fate huh??!!