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Summer is almost over...All you half-naked people are gonna need to find a personality.
I`ll do whatever it takes to be the mistake you can`t live without
I need professional help. A chef and a butler will do just fine.
I`m available if anyone needs me to ruin a good thing before it even starts.
Is it the S or the C that`s silent in scent?
The older I get, the more I sympathize with Squidward`s anger.
Does this couch Iām laying on make me look unmotivated?
Somewhere out there is a guy named Joe whose greatest achievement is that he was a really sloppy eater.
Well I just finished up some spring cleaning. Holy crap, owning a Slinky can be such a hassle.
How can I learn to be more patient? (I`m only interested in quick-fix solutions with immediate results please)
"Iowa man arrested after fight over peanut butter and jelly sandwiches" - I`m just gonna assume this is 1 of you guys
The correct term for gluten-free, sugarless, vegan brownies is "compost."
I just spent a lot of time trying to form a thought when it would`ve been easier to just say, "F*ck it."
I start every morning with a simple affirmation: I will not murder anyone today.
The best part of being a kid is probably saying, f*ck it. I`m going to be Spider-Man today.