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To drink, or not to drink?...what a stupid question!
Congratulations! I`ve finally snapped, and you`re first on my list!
"Let`s eat, get drunk and watch people exercise" - sports fans
My new bumper sticker ... "Watch out for the idiot behind me!"
One of my favorite discoveries about adulthood is that there are literally no rules stopping you from eating an entire row of Oreos at once.
I just don`t have enough middle fingers for today.
Statistics show the number one cause of failed relationships is opening your mouth and letting words come out.
Advertising taught me that hair conditioner makes you move in slow motion.
It usually only takes about five minutes into any conversation Iām having before people start shaking their head and quoting the bible.
It`s scientifically proven that stress is caused by giving a f*ck.
I finally had the talk with my kids. I told them that in the wild animals eat their young so they better get their sh!t together.
I decided to make a bucket list for when I kick the bucket. Number 1: Wear shoes! Ever tried kicking a metal bucket without shoes?
According to my roommate`s diary, I have boundary issues.
New Study: Long-term beer drinking can lead to depression, also known as "running out of beer."
Women and children first because men deserve a little quiet time before the ship sinks.