Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Chicken salad with egg in it is my fave way to eat two generations.
You know when you`re exercising and feel like you could keep going and going? That`s happening to me, only with beer.
Men are trained from birth that happiness comes from either boobs or a bottle.
Never trust anyone who smiles this early in the morning.
If you can’t face it, moon it.
A man tried to sell me a coffin today. I told him that`s the last thing I need.
Flash mobs are so not what I thought. Now I`ve gotta go find my clothes.
My girlfriend asked me to send some dirty pics. So I sent her a picture of my sink full of dishes. :)
Just washed my car with the squeegee at the gas station.
Anybody wanna go halfsies on an orgasm?
Liven up any boring conversation by telling people you have a glass eye and then watch them try and figure out which one it is.
Nothing is impossible.. Never Give Up.. I know a guy that once actually guessed correctly why his girlfriend was mad at him.. :|
Dear Lord, Thanks for making me funny. Especially since you didn`t give me much else to work with.
I fight evil wherever it may be ... except in dark, scary places.
I`d say go to hell, but I don`t want to see you again.