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The older the Facebook post, the creepier your “like” becomes.
I`m pretty sure all dogs can smell drugs. It`s just that most of them aren`t snitches.
It is hard to imagine how people showed their anger before doors were invented.
So many feelings today. Mostly hunger.
Ever wanna tell someone to shut the f*ck up even when they are not speaking
Life is what you make it = 10% Shit happens = 90%
I think the golden rule for men should be, don’t say anything to a woman at work that you wouldn’t want another man to say to you in prison.
The only time I proof read is to see how much alcohol comes in a bottle.
I do 5 sit ups daily. It might not sound like much, but there`s only so many times you can hit the snooze button.
My head says go to the gym. My heart says food.
Who decided that we should sit together in groups while we chew food?
I don`t care how old I am, if I go out to eat and there are crayons and paper place mats with puzzles...GAME ON!!
Crazy is like diarrhea. You can only hold it in for so long.
When I get in an elevator, before I press a button I look at everyone inside and say “Are you ready to take this sh!t to a whole new level?”
Monday morning coffee is just as important as friday night liquor....almost.