Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How come the energizer bunny beats a drum instead of doing something like working the cashier register at Wal-Mart?
Science is just a numbery way to explain magic.
I wish you could order Karma like flowers and have it delivered.
Insomnia causes questionable browser history.
I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.
I hate when I drop my pen on the floor and it`s slightly out of reach so I leave it there forever.
Everyone is gifted......But not everyone opens their present
Remember this when you are drunk: You can`t fall off the floor.
Mom: If all your friends jumped off a cliff would you do it too? Me: If all parents used that same metaphor would you use it too?
Today in my local cemetery I came across the grave of Arthur Wynne the inventor of the crossword puzzle. For those that want to know where he is buried it`s 6 down and 4 across.
I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato.
Sad life : After watching 2 seconds of Spongebob I already know what episode it is ... I`m 41
I`m not just living paycheck to paycheck. I`m living from paycheck to change jar to scrap aluminum to liquor store to paycheck.
I`m a big advocate of the `You started it` method of defense in an argument.
She says I keep pushing her buttons. If that were true, I would have found `mute` by now.