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lol <- looks like a stick man drowning. lol
"Fidget Spinners are so dumb pointless." -The generation that purchased over 5 million Pet Rocks.
A gentle reminder about Daylight Savings Time: If you thought last Monday sucked, this one will prove to be much, much worse.
Just saw the little boy next door licking whip cream off the cat. Pretty sure he heard something he shouldn`t have.
I learn something new every day that I didn`t want to know.
Walmart: the only place on Earth you can get a haircut, eye exam, ice cream sandwich, tires for your car, and witness a real life "what not to wear" episode.
life is too short to think twice and act wise....
I`m not lazy. I`m just highly motivated to not do anything.
My bucket list: 4 drumsticks, 2 thighs, 2 mashed potatoes with gravy, and 2 biscuits. Extra crispy.
How do nudist clean their glasses?
I don`t trust stairs. They always look like they`re up to something.
Rejected Olympic Events: Javelin Catch... Jello Shotput... Border Fencing... Cardboard Boxing... Menstrual Cycling... Salad Tossing... Wrestling Demons...
Why is it when I flush the toilet in the middle of the night, I have a feeling I woke up the entire neighbourhood?
Being an American is awesome. The end.
If you`re crazy and you know it shake your meds...