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Boobs: because you can`t suck on a girls personality
Iām probably single because I forgot to forward those chain messages from 2008.
Maybe Voldemort`s face is flat because he ran into the wrong wall at the train station.
thinks that decaffeinated coffee is just useless brown water.
I farted on my wallet. Now I have gas money
You don`t have to be crazy to work here ... We`ll train you.
The trick to successfully backing out of a parking space is to not care what happens to you or anyone else.
F*ck spiders. F*ck them and the way they move their legs, f*ck their ability to multiply by the million and f*ck their eight, beady little black eyes that offer unblinking, soulless glimpses of the blackest depths of hell itself.
Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair. Made of steel. Twice. From Hulk. On adrenaline rush.
If Jimmy cracked corn and no one cares, then why the heck is there a song about it?
For your final meal request to eat the electric chair and then the warden will be like well now what do we do he ate our electric chair
I haven`t seen any new Bigfoot pictures in a while... I hope he`s OK.
It must suck when billionaires wake up feeling like a million bucks.
Back in my day we had 9 planets.
Showed the kids here how to eat corn-on-the-cob typewriter style........ Now explaining typewriter.