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According to my neighbor’s journal, I have boundary issues.
If you’re not fully satisfied with your life, do something about it. Or complain about it on the internet. Whatever you prefer.
It`s a little disappointing when you`re watching a school basket ball game & no one turns into a werewolf.
Its never polite to ask the guy at the next table "are you done with that?" Especially when he`s breaking up with his girlfriend.
I was just awarded the first place trophy for laziness. All I need now is for someone to accept it on my behalf.
Don’t ask me to kill a spider for you & then criticize my methods. Yes, I had to use a samurai sword, & no, I’m not sorry about your table.
No one is ever bored enough to start studying.
I’m sad when my food is over.
For most things there’s MasterCard For everything else there’s Vodka
I like dating chicks with kids, because fruity snacks
Each day is a gift, but some days are socks and underwear
A hot woman telling me about her boyfriend is like setting money on fire in front of a homeless person.
Is it rude to put *vomits* under someone`s post ?
Taxes are like a subscription to your country that you can`t cancel, no matter how bad the service gets.
If I eat healthy today then I can have one piece of candy as a reward. If I eat unhealthy, then I can have the whole bag.