Daily Silly Status

So if one was to type ‘idiot’ into Google, would your picture come up?

thinks there are times when your the most beautiful girl in the world, and there are times when I’m sober.

That awkward moment when you make a Harry Potter reference and none of your Muggle friends get it.

Have some fun: goto the local bar. Play every Justin Beaber song and leave.

Men use love to get sex...women use sex to get love...I use coupons to get pizza!

"Polar bears can`t jump." - Black bears

So another day has come and gone and I still haven`t used algebra

I just had a call from a Charity asking me to donate some of my clothes to the starving people throughout the world. I told them to F off!! Anybody who fits into my clothes isn`t starving!!

I am so clever sometimes I don`t even understand what I`m saying.

True love is biting a slice of pizza when you`re fully aware that it will burn the roof of your mouth.

I`m a compulsive liar. Every thing I say is a lie. And that`s the truth.

Every time I`m not with my kid and someone asks me "Where`s the baby?" I just yell "Oh crap!" and run in the direction I came from.

I just had a threesome in the shower with Johnson and Johnson.

I will probably die as a result of being sarcastic to the wrong person at the wrong time.

So red or white wine with hamburger helper?