Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Please excuse me for talking while you were interrupting.
Always look out for #1. Don´t step in #2 either.
My friends most commonly describe me as "who?"
People with 1 syllable names ruin the happy birthday song
I bet now a lot of doctors are going to be reluctant to respond to “Is there a doctor on the plane?”
Peanut butter and jelly. That´s what I like in my belly
How does anything EVER get done at the bubble wrap factory??
I`m old enough to remember being the tv remote.
Beer: Giving you the courage to talk to women but taking away the ability to make sense.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol at my house may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
Well, it`s easy to tell I`m single. It`s Saturday night and I`m at home updating my facebook status...
I repaired my blow up doll with superglue.....that was an awkward trip to the emergency room (<>..<>)
Health care in this country is a disgrace. My doctor said run 3 miles a day for a month. I`m now completely lost & 90 miles away from home.
7.1 billion people in the world. 0 willing to lower their standards and date me.
None of us have it as bad as the porcupine giving birth to another porcupine.