Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I’m not paranoid, but everyone thinks I am.
Everyone has their area of expert knowledge.... if any of you need tips on how to do absolutely nothing amazingly well, let me know.
The difference between cars and whales is that whales can swim and cars can`t.
My medical ID bracelet says "just let it happen"
I don’t want to go to work. There are people there.
This skinny girl just told me she "forgets" to eat? Is that possible? I just licked her face in case it`s contagious.
North West? Im confused i thought Kim Kardashian gave birth to a child not a compass
The day I understand females will be the day i`ll be officially known as Jesus
Let`s be honest, Dos Equis. After a bunch of ANY beer, what guy DOESN`T think he`s the most interesting man in the world?
They say that money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.
I hate it when I see some old person and then realize that we went to school together
My date is in 2 hours, which means I have very little time to fix my glasses and fix my bangs and get a career and lose 50 pounds
It takes patience to listen.., it takes skill to pretend you’re listening.
Sleep is just a symptom of caffeine deprivation.
Running away doesn`t help your problems, unless you`re fat. Then yeah, run away.