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Does any one know how to lower the difficulty settings on tinder?
I worry about people who write "taken" in their bios. Where did they go? Who took them? Why aren`t we helping to find them?
I`m not an alcoholic I just have a lot of things to celebrate.
you know what sucks about being a "chubby guy"....when your girlfriend wants to play with YOUR boobs :)
Ladies: Sometimes you just need to throw your arms up in the air and say, "Tie me up"
I`m combining Easter and April Fools day this year - I`m sending the kids out to look for eggs I haven`t hidden.
Save water. Shower with me. ;)
Punctuality is a waste of time since no one is ever there to appreciate it.
Women who say the quickest way to a man`s heart is through his stomach, have not seen his browser history.
Trust me, I am a liar.
When we were kids, we didn`t have Pokemon Go. If we wanted to look for things that weren`t there, we would get stoned like normal people.
Somewhere, right now.. One of my Facebook friends is already drunk!
Ok Brazil, this would be a time when it`s ok to bite an opponent.
Tried to donate blood today but they had too many questions about where I got it.
Hi, you`ve reached my voicemail. Why are you doing this?