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Let me be clear, I don`t want to die alone. However I want to be left completely alone until that moment
Opposites attract, that’s the trouble with being awesome.
Racism, sexism and homophobia make no sense when there are so many perfectly good stupid people to hate.
Yeah he`s still bugging me...he thinks Harass is two words.
If I agreed with you we´d both be wrong.
You’re lucky that I’m so terrified of prison.
Deep down, we`re all that one lady in 7-11 with her bathrobe on.
If you can´t read this, you´re illiterate.
I would probably die of sleep deprivation if Facebook added a dislike button
Admit it, you`ve answered Dora at least once in your life.
Within 2 minutes, I can gather enough things to allow me to sit and watch tv without getting up for at least 4 hours... Don`t question my laziness
Yesterday my Supervisor asked why I was tardy and I said, "I don`t think you`re supposed call people that any more."
I’m going to rename my wifi network to “Surveillance Van #02?. That should keep the neighbors on their toes for a while.
It`s really cold out there folks. If you`re heading to Wal-Mart, please wear two pairs of pajamas.
When someone says "Happy New Years" I wonder, how many years are they talking about?