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My bed has no frame and sits directly on the floor because under-bed monsters are just one less thing I have to worry about now.
There is a special place in hell for people who are not ready to order when it`s their turn.
Woke up this morning, looked in the mirror & said out loud, "You gotta bring it today!" ... So I packed a lunch and went to work.
An arranged marriage is just another way of saying that your parents helped you get laid.
I assume people with dark tinted windows pick their nose more aggressively than the rest of us.
Do you think people in Mexico ever say, "Those jobs keep stealing all our Mexic?ns!"
Behind every beautiful woman, is a beautiful behind.
That awkward moment when u start telling a story only to realise no one is listening so you slowly fade out and pretend to have said nothing.
“People will believe anything if you whisper it.”
It’s amazing what I’m able to get done when I need to do something else.
I stop at random Jehovah`s Witness houses and drop off copies of Rolling Stone.
It should be a rule that if you dress up like a red hair clown , you get a free happy meal at McDonalds .....I`ll pay this time , but I`m not happy ... !!
We live in a time where "He is hot" is more important than "He is a nice guy."
I only have one word for women who look at me like I’m some kind of sex object ... Hi.
i havnt seen any status`s about ninjas lately.... well played ninjas