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The 5 second rule for food dropped on the ground does not work if you have a 2 second dog.
Do the spectators at golf tournaments know they don`t have to be there
Learn to spell. Auto Correct isn’t always write.
Why is it that the instant I buy new chap stick, the old one magically reappears?
If I agreed with you we´d both be wrong.
I seem to start my day backwards. I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.
Sometimes you have to burn a few bridges to keep the crazies from following you.
So I harvested my tomato today, it`s bound to be good considering the $43.29 I invested to plant it.
Please pray for the people still playing Farmville on Facebook.
The human race is the only one that lets its idiots live a full life...
I`m sexy and I know it really is....... your slutty and you blow it.
Getting old sucks. I use to wake up feeling like a million bucks. Now I feel more like a bounced check.
"Wow! That Lean Cuisine really filled me up!" ... said no one, ever.
How can society expect me to be a mature productive member of it I don`t even know if it`s spelled gray or grey
Just backed into a Jaguar but I left him a note on my bank statement so he knows not to bother calling