Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
real eyes realize real lies
Sadly no matter how hard you try, you can`t mail a fart. Too bad though, because this would actually make paying Bills a lot more fun.
can say whatever the hell I want as my Facebook Status, and nobody will be offended as long as I smile at the end. Example: I hate everybody today :) - LOL
Remember, laughter is the best medicine. Unless you have diarrea.
Sarcasm is just one of the many services I offer to people who ask stupid questions.
If kidnapping is a federal offense, then why is marriage legal?
If you give a man a fish you kinda suck at picking out gifts.
I was going to get married, but my wife refuses to sign the divorce papers
Dear naps, I`m sorry I was such a jerk to you as a kid.
I`m working harder than an ugly stripper!!
I hate when homesless people shake their cup of coins at me. It`s like yeah I know you have more money than me, no need to rub it in.
Have you ever noticed that the & symbol looks like a guy dragging his butt across the floor?
Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.
My favorite beer is the 15th one.
Billion dollar idea: Meth with Flouride