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At least my motivation gets to sleep in.
Behind every great woman there is a man who loves doggystyle.
When I come home 4 the holidays I throw $40 on the table & say "Look we`re keeping the thermostat at 75, and we`re turning on some lights."
I`m a Leader not a follower. Unless it`s a dark place...then you`re going first!
When I see people drinking at 11 am on a Friday I`m like, where do you work and are they hiring?
How many different animals did we have to jump on the backs of before we discovered horses were cool with it?
In Hell, you cannot peel off the colors on a Rubik`s Cube to solve it
When I was six, my dad threw me into the pool thinking I would instantly learn to swim. I probably would if it had water in it.
If I had known "cuties" were little oranges when my wife asked me to "bring a few home," I could have avoided these awkward introductions.
A German boy pushed his brother off a cliff. He then turned to his mother and said "Look Mom! No Hans!"
wassup pips! :-) no i don`t mean you guys pip, get it? piping?? haaahaaa... looks like i`m the only one laughing right? well it sounded funnier in my head (-_-)
I wish I had my own private chauffeur. . . . Then I could really commit to being an alcoholic!
Likes doing tokyo drifts with the shopping carts when I round the corner of each isle at Walmart.
When things get to stressful I hit the jim.......... Beam.
You know you are getting old when people start telling you how young you look.