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Guess when toothpaste was invented? 1892. Guess when kissing was invented? A DISGUSTINGLY LONG TIME BEFORE THAT.
I haven`t slept for three days, because that would be too long
Alcohol goes in, truth comes out.
My new workout video is 20 minutes of me vacuuming over the same piece of string instead of picking it up.
This "doing nothing" is hard work, how am I supposed to know when I`m done?
If "The Breakfast Club" were made today, it would be a silent film about 5 kids staring at their phones.
I went to the doctor for a check up and he says I`m going to live. But I think he`s wrong and it`s just a matter of time.
had a great time horseback riding today but then I ran out of quarters
DIET TIP: don’t eat chips right out of the bag. Get out just enough to eat until the pizza guy gets there.
Mom in poetic mood ....Asked me to express emptiness .... I showed her my wallet ........ n m cheek still burns .... :-p :-p
Dear Vegetarians, Thanks for saving the good food for us.
I lifted my hands up in the air and waved them like I just didn`t care.....Ceiling fan: 6 Me: 0
You chicks spend a lot of money on makeup to look pretty. Save your cash, buy him Alcohol.
Bands who can`t afford a smoke machine should hire my girlfriend to cook at their concert
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.